Monthly Archives: February 2012

Why don’t you get back into the kitchen, eh?


I do not care what you, or any other dumb fucks have to say on the matter – statements (intended to be jokes) aimed at the stereotypical ideas of women are not jokes. If we take offence to them it’s because you’re belittling us, and all other females – you have no right to say ‘calm down, it’s only a joke’ or anything remotely similar.

It is not up to you what we find offensive. And it’s not up to you to tell us how you would act better if you were in the same situation. Why? Because you are not a woman. If you’re a male (especially a white heterosexual male) you need to step up and see your privilege. There is nothing anyone could say to you that comes close to any of these statements said to women on a daily basis

  • You never have to worry that the person who’s been walking the same direction as you for about 10 minutes at night, might actually be following you.
  • You never need to deal with people thinking it’s acceptable behaviour to roll down their car windows or turn around in the street, and either whistle or shout something about you being ‘bangable’ or a ‘wee slut’.
  • You never have to deal with some men thinking they’re allowed to touch you whenever they want.
  • You never have to worry about asking someone to back off when they’re gyrating their bits around your general arse area in a club.
  • You never have to worry about being groped and told to take it as a compliment.

These are just some of the things men take for granted. So don’t you dare tell me (or any other women) we need to ‘calm down and take the joke’ or ‘take a chill pill’. I have a fucking cracking sense of humour, but when you’re ‘jokes’ belittle me, and an entire gender, it’s time for you to realise there’s only one person who needs to change, and that person is you.




I am an idiot.

It’s always upsetting to see people Pro-Life protesting, but when the people protesting are part of the younger/my generation it pisses me off even more. Not only are these protesters young, they’re at university. How can you be educated and still promote this pish?!
I’m going to be quite blunt here, but I’m doing it because I am right. 


I don’t understand why shit loads of people can’t get their heads around this really simple fact, but just incase you fall into this idiotic group of ignorant muppets I’m going to explain why being Pro-Choice is right. 

Pro-Life arguments that I am now going to enjoy ripping fuck out of:

  1. We have to be the voice for that helpless, unborn child. – What about the voice of the woman, eh? When women find out they’re pregnant, that ‘child’ you believe needs a voice is currently the size of a bean. It’s needs do not come into effect until the needs of the women/possible mother to be have been addressed. Her opinions on her life aren’t to be pushed aside because there’s now a ‘more important life’ to think about. When did you decide this bunch of cells were worth more than an already human life? I am aware that you can have abortions at whatever point in your pregnancy but this does not and will not ever change my opinions. At any point in her pregnancy the woman can decide, for whatever reason, that she does not/ can not have this child.  Why? Because it’s her body and it’s her life.
  2. You shouldn’t end life. – Unwanted pregancies/children end lives. Why do the lives of the women get pushed to the back burner the minute people become aware she’s pregnant? Her life does not simply become meaningless because there’s something currently growing inside her.
  3. Abortion is child abuse. – Nope.
  4. God disagrees/The Bible says – Bitch please. I am not going to listen to what a man in the sky/ a book written thousands of years ago by a bunch of men maybe says over a real human being, with real thoughts and feelings.
  5. You don’t have to keep the baby, there’s always adoption. – What if they don’t want to go through pregnancy? There are risks, complications and life changing things that happen during pregnancy. You can’t continue your life. It seriously fucks shit up. Not to mention the emotional and psychological effects carrying a child you never wanted for 9 months.
  6. If you didn’t want a child you should have been more careful and taken precautions. – This one pisses me off a shit tonne. Birth control is not ever 100% effective. Accidents sometimes happen. People sometimes forget. Sex is not just a means to make a child. Sex is something we do for fun, it’s enjoyable, it can and should be allowed to be care-free. If you’re going to tell me otherwise I’m presuming it’s because you’re religious and you’re going to pull the God/Bible card on me, so please re-read point 4. Another thing that angers me about this opinion is What about in cases of rape? You surely can’t tell ALL women they should be on the pill just incase someone decides to sexually assault them. Can you imagine having to carry around/ bring into the world YOUR RAPISTS CHILD? I shudder at the thought of it.
  7. Women who choose abortion do not understand what they are doing. – Just because a woman doesn’t share your views on something doesn’t mean she doesn’t know or understand what she’s doing. How insulting can you be? Your opinions are not right for everyone. This does not make anyone who disagrees with what you would do in this situation wrong. It makes them human.
  8. Abortion frequently causes intense psychological pain and stress. – Carrying a child around in your tummy, you don’t want/ can’t afford to have causes intense psychological pain and stress.

I imagine most the people carrying those signs up there would throw that motto, along with that smile, to the kerb if they ever had to deal with an unwanted/un-planned pregnancy.

I would never tell a woman who was about to go through labour how to do it right and I imagine none of the kids holding those signs would either. Why? Because regardless of how you think you’d cope with the situation, if you’ve never been through it how can you tell someone what’s best? And do you know what? Even if you have, you cannot tell someone other than yourself how best to deal with it. Everyone is different, everyone copes with things differently and everyone is entitled to do it their way. There is no difference in the logic used here to the logic that should be used regarding the choice to have an abortion.

Regardless of whether you’re 14, 16, 45, married, single, in a relationship, a high-flying business woman, a student, a single mother or a mother, it is your body and you are allowed to choose.


I’m a lesbian. Not a fucking unicorn.


Contrary to popular belief, lesbians are not mythical creatures – they’re not there for you to ogle over. They’ve not been put on this planet to help you whack one out whilst you stare at your computer screen either. I’m aware this contradicts what the porn industry feeds you, and I’m sorry to break your bubble but we’re real people and it’s about time you realised.  The reason I’m saying this is because I’m sick and tired of men and they way they often behave around gay women.

Some of the things straight guys say to/at (mainly at) lesbians, that are not now, or ever acceptable:

  • OH MY GOD. Kiss again *gets out mobile phone* – Seriously what makes you think that this is any shape or form acceptable behaviour? I wouldn’t ever dream of whapping out my mobile/camera to photograph or film you and your girlfriend kissing. Have some fucking respect.
  • You’re not gay. You’ve just not found the right man yet. – This is probably the most insulting thing you could say. How DARE you claim that this person you’ve met for all of three minutes doesn’t know their sexual orientation because they’ve obviously not met the right man yet. Usually they’ll go on to explain that the ‘right man’ is them. I’m guessing they’re hoping you’ll believe their bullshit and get into their bed.
  • You’ve not had a shot on my magic penis – I kid you not I’ve had this said to me more times than I count. The first few times it’s hilarious and after than you usually want to slap them a shot. LISTEN UP:  You do not have a magic penis, and even if you did you’re not going to get me on it. Give up. It seems that after a few drinks ‘No’ seems to be quite a hard word to understand, so you usually have to deal with this idiots presence for 10-15 minutes until they realise they really don’t have a chance and move onto the next unsuspecting woman.
    The amusing thing about this one is I’m sure it’s happened to me more in GAY clubs than any other. It’s like they set themselves a stupid challenge or something.
  • Want a threesome? – With you? Strangely enough – No. Don’t believe everything your porn stash tells you. If there’s a dude involved, I’m not in.
  • Can I watch? – Fuck off.
  • But you can’t have sex if you don’t have a cock. – You’re right, I don’t have a cock. 5 points for being so observant! However, I now feel for any woman you’ve ever/are ever going to sleep with if you think you only need a cock to make a woman come.
  • You’re too pretty to be a lesbian – Lesbian doesn’t mean Butch. Lesbian means girls who like girls. Straight folk don’t all look the same – chances are that means gay folk don’t all look the same either.
  • What are you looking at my girlfriend for? Want a fight? – The minute you’re identified as a lesbian some guys just can’t handle it. They think you’re damaging their masculinity or something. The fact you are actually a girl goes straight out the window and they’d happily beat the crap out of you to ‘prove they’re the big man’.
    The time this happened to me I was out with a bunch of friends. I knew his girlfriend and had just complimented her dress and asked where she got it from. This obviously translates to OMG YOU’RE CHATTING MY GIRL UP as lesbians clearly can’t be interested in girl things like clothes – especially dresses.

I’m aware a lot of people are going to read this and tell me to calm down or take a joke, but that’s just not acceptable. Soz. I am not in the wrong for telling people they are in the wrong  for doing any of the above. Respect that, ta.