VOMART

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I wish that when I thought of milk and food colouring the only thing to cross my mind would be baking wonderfully disastrous cakes. However thanks to Millie Brown this is no longer the case. Cheers love. Now I imagine you puking up rainbow milk onto canvases, apparently as a form of art.

This RIDICULOUS performance isn’t even  a one off, not that that would make it much better. Millie is known, or at least wants to be known, as a VOMIT ARTIST. Yes, double take, I did say vomit artist.

When asked how she began her ‘puking journey’ she replied:

‘I had no idea what i was going to do, but I wanted to create something very colourful and unique, then i thought how wonderful it would be to vomit a rainbow.’

Ken whit Millie, yer a dick. You couldn’t possibly just keep the milk in your mouth and spit it out if you really wanted to be a bit of a weirdo, could you? Do you not understand that for a lot of young people, especially women, purging themselves is in fact an illness and you vomiting a fucking rainbow does not better this awful situation. It in fact does the opposite.

In order for Millie to create these ‘masterpieces’ I’m presuming she must starve herself before hand since there ain’t no macaroni cheese or celery sticks coming up in chunks adding to the paintings artistic flair. Good one. Real healthy. Millie, for your information, I’ve seen more artistic flair in a fucking nursery. In fact I’m pretty sure I’ve seen more intelligence in a nursery. Most children are aware throwing up for any other reason than being unwell isnae good for you. Unlike you who believes there are ‘worse vices to have!’ so have never asked for a medical opinion on your habit. Aye, that’s what I’m calling it because it’s exactly that. Regardless of what you say.

Before anyone says, she’s not physically harming anyone and she can do what she wants to her own body. Yes I agree, but Millie doesn’t want to stop at her own body and she ‘would love to create a chain reaction if the crowd could all do their own colour.’ CLEVER. GOOD PLAN. Let’s have everyone vomiting for no reason now. You’ve created a new art trend, vomiting paint. Such an inspiration. Naw, ya cunt. Dinnae think so.

Now, I might not be a doctor but I can tell you, with confidence, that:
a) throwing up isnae good for your insides.
b) you should probably seek some mental health advice. Something’s not quite right.

However, if you folk happen to think this is wonderful pretty art why not go and buy yourselves your very own canvas of vomit. It’ll only set you back £1,500. And Millie, I hope for your sake your ‘artwork’ sells, cause veneers aren’t cheap and I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be needing a set in the not so distant future.

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4 responses »

  1. It trivialises issues like eating disorders and making it look like making yourself vomit is just something else your body can do and isn’t horribly harsh for your insides and psychologically wrong. Great article. There really IS more intellect in a nursery school!

  2. Brogan, your wee blog is becoming quite a must read these days. This is fucking wrong. If she is actually voming (instead of just spitting it out?) & you were to buy one of these and hang it above a radiator wouldnt it just make your house smell of sick? & There must be a health warning when buying one because of all the diseases you can contract by touching other peoples vomit? RANK.

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