Translates to: Wanker from Earth

SHOCK FUCKING HORROR. The Charlie Sheen tour has turned out to be a pile of shite. Gutter.

But, no offence mate. What were you expecting? Something out of this world filled with tiger blood and adonis DNA? A total frickin’ rockstar from mars? If it’s Tiger blood you’re after I suggest you pay £13.50 and visit the local zoo and if you want to find a rock star from mars lets hope NASA start a Charlie and the chocolate style factory competition/ you’re a millionaire and a bit of an idiot.

Now I’d be lying if I say I didn’t find his week of ‘ultimate stardom’ hilarious at points, however, I’ll admit that it makes me quite the cunt. The man is clearly going/gone mental. I think it’s probably the latter. And not that I want to go into it to much but a sexist, abusive wanker. ANYWAY. I digress.

Apparently the show’s been getting awful reviews, such as, an “unmitigated disaster” – OMG. NO FUCKING WAY. I thought it was going to be a well thought out, rehearsed masterpiece. Of course. Why else would you pay £46.50 a ticket? Not because you’re a stupid fuck. Of course not. No.

The audience were reported to have started leaving after 15 minutes chanting ‘REFUND’. Soz pal but if you were expecting some new comic lines and unheard hilarity you were never going to get them. Know why? His week of mentalness wasn’t a show, it wasn’t made up and it was in fact probably him needing sectioned. You also expected to hear the ‘truth’ from a man who believes he’s a Vatican assassin. Really? I’m not sure who’re more mental. You or him.

Maybe I should feel sorry for you but then again, why should I? You were fool enough to spend your money on an unstable nightmare man who lets be honest was never going to produce anything that you can’t already, if you must, find FOR FREE on youtube. And sheen does make one valid point – “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.”

If I were you I’d just be ‘happy’ he even showed up at all.


2 responses »

  1. I didn’t realise that people thinking he was A PURE LEGEND MAAAAAAN would make his tour sell so well. But I’m glad everyone realised that he was actually shit and awful. I hate it so much when people start holding abusers as legends for beating up women who’ve been in porn films, as if these women are not actually people at all.

  2. His tour SOLD OUT. Without anyone even knowing anything about it. Although had they stopped to think for a minute and stopped laughing at some of the hilarious garbage he was talking they’d have realised it so wasn’t worth it and the man probably needs institutionalised.

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